People look for something to blame

The points you mentioned will allow me to teach others so they are armed against the Toxics keep up the good work Sapna. The combination of this pairing can never produce positive outcomes as my experience attests. Thank you for the insight. Thank you Sherrie. This article helps a lot of people who experience and encounter with Toxic People. Sadly, I experienced this from a close friend, they will play victim and angry at you, once you confront with their hurtful words. When I learned to walk away, they will act as if they did not hurt you and they will complain how many times they need to be sorry for.

For me, it was best to remove and stay away with these Toxic person. Because no matter how you want to save your friendship. I know someone that has all these traits. Is it possible for one person to have all of these traits? He is saying he is depressed and sick of life but blaming person A to a point that person A is going into a big depression. Person a is always apologizing and finding ways to make up for things that were never intentional and at this point never done. Thank you. My younger brother constantly needs my help then when I give it, whether it is financial, accommodation or any other fix he is in, it always, always ends up my fault.

We can be in different countries and a delayed flight could cause his anger because I suggested he catch it! This has been the case for 40 years and every time I say never again but he reels me in every time!

No more — your article has helped and I now recognise him as a narcissist although at 55 he has no support network if not for me but this cannot continue. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Notify me of follow-up comments by email. Notify me of new posts by email. We respect your privacy and will never share your email address with any person or organization. Previous Next. You may be trapped in the blame game perpetrated by toxic people. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact us.

Share this story with your friends! Facebook Twitter Reddit Pinterest Email. About the Author: Sherrie Hurd. Sherrie Hurd is a professional writer and artist with over 10 years of experience. She is an advocate for mental health awareness and nutrition. She has written for Beacon, a southern college publication, and is an author of a full-length non-fiction novel.

Sherrie spends most of her time giving life to the renegade thoughts. As the words erupt and form new life, she knows that she is yet again free from the nagging persistence of her muse. Otherwise, you know in your heart that you didn't do it, and accept the fact that whomever blamed you isn't going to change their perspective and just go about your life.

You have to stick up for what you believe in, don't change your morals or attitude and respond with kindness, don't try too hard to prove that it is not your fault. Time will eventually prove the person in front of you that you did not lie. Anonymous March 3rd, pm.

Why We Put the Blame On Others – and the Real Cost We Pay - Harley Therapy™ Blog

Acknowledge that the people who blame you may have something going on too. You being blamed for something could be because that person doesn't want to take responsibility as something may have gone wrong in the past. You could talk to the person in a mannerly order and resolve it. Try to not overthink. Remain calm and stay true to yourself. You yourself know that you are not at fault, so try to not let the negative situation cause negativity in other areas of your life.

Blame Game and 6 Types of Toxic People Who Love Playing It

Anonymous September 2nd, pm. First of all, it's important to believe in yourself and truly know that it wasn't your fault.

Running Out of People to Blame

If some one is blaming you, you should try to make the other person understand the truth, in a calm and low tone, so that there isn't any room for fights or arguements. Through my experience, I feel the biggest thing you can do is not base your value or worth on the opinions of others. Remind yourself constantly if need be that whatever you're being blamed for is not your fault. Surround yourself with people who support you and hold you in positive regard. Well, this calls for different action, depending upon the situation.

When you are mostly with equals, you have to dare to speak up and face the situation. But when you are in a relatively weaker position, compared to the person who blames you and say you can lose something valuable like a job , then perhaps you need to deal with it a bit diplomatically. Don't be frank in such environments, but then if the blaming is constant, avoid such people. Anonymous December 4th, am.

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You can tell yourself that you shouldn't blame yourself or feel bad for something that you know wasn't your fault. It is up to you depending on how much respect you have for yourself :. Anonymous October 23rd, am. Are others blaming you or are you blaming yourself? In some cases legal action can be taken if money or inflamatory slander is at play. If there is a way you can prove you didn't do a thing, that is a great option.

Otherwise, unless it is harmful to your day-to-day well-being, merely wait for the time when you can remove yourself from the presence of the people who like to blame you of things. You can persevere! If it is damaging to your day-to-day well-being, seek guidance from a local or online therapist, close friend or close friend's family, school counselor, or even a family doctor.

Anonymous November 3rd, am.

Reasons We Blame Others For Our Mistakes

Deep inhale. Deep exhale. Talk through it. Not every arguments to be replied by arguments. The first thing you can do is to remind yourself that it wasn't your fault. It can be hurtful and make you feel confused when you are blamed for something that you didn't do. You can try talking to the person that blamed you in the first place and tell them how you feel. If they aren't willing to listen to you, the next step would be to take care of yourself. You can try and do things that will help you calm down, like maybe going on a short walk or painting.

Being blamed for something that wasn't your fault can be disheartening because it feels like you can't even convince the person that blamed you that it wasn't your fault. The best thing you can do would be to give them a little time to cool off and then talk to them when they are a little more receptive.


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Truly solving the problem requires learning to control our reactions. If you take responsibility for your mistakes and learn from them, you actually increase your chances for long-term career success. Try counting to 10 before responding. Though the decision led to her dismissal, she still sees no value in blaming others.

All of the basic rules that you learned on the playground apply to adult life.


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Maintaining a good reputation is just as important -- if not more -- as the quality of your work. The key to truly winning the blame game is to stay focused on the wider purpose.